I’ve neglected this blog (among other things) for several months. My intention was to draft an article a week, start a YouTube channel where I could review decks and wax philosophical, and host a Tarot Meet-Up group once a month. Instead I found myself immersed (dare I say drowning) in work. It got so bad (the worrying, planning, answering texts and calls in my ‘down-time’) that I suffered a pinched nerve in my neck that made it impossible to write or type because I had no strength in my arm and had a terrible numbness in my first and second fingers. It literally took more than 8 months to recover and I still find that I get an ‘asleep’ feeling in my right arm when it’s held above the level of my heart for any length of time. It was my body saying, “That’s bloody well enough of that!!” to all I was putting onto my own shoulders. I was responsible for peoples lives, their safety, their employment, the running of the place and the income being generated. I was one person acting in the role of many and it was going to kill me if I hadn’t woken up unable to move my neck or arm for all the pain. What I realized was that my family, my co-workers, the business and my household wasn’t going to fall apart without me. People picked up the slack where they could and where they couldn’t it really didn’t matter anyways. I was given the opportunity to look at my life, my goals and my needs and start to do a hard soul search into what I valued most. I realized that I have certain obligations to earn and income, support my family, to maintain my health and then I have the pleasures of spending time with my grandkids, studying Tarot, writing this blog, painting and spending time in nature. My pleasures had literally disappeared for the sake of other people and I simply allowed myself to be swallowed whole.
During my recouperation, I started looking for another job, and got one, in a city an hour away, with a dedicated schedule and with potential for some upward mobility that wouldn’t make me responsible for everything about the business. It means taking a pay cut, but the quality of life I will enjoy will be worth it.
It means that I can start blogging again, and I happily spent a full day in my studio to paint. I’ve reintroduced myself to my cards and their warning and advice to me has always been centered around self care. I will endeavor to make this a priority from which all other good things in my life will spring from.
Thanks to all who follow this blog. Blessings, Heather